If you want to make someone cry, make them think of every person who hurt them.
If you want to destroy someone, make them think of every person who they have hurt.
| — | I Wrote This For You (via creatingaquietmind) |
We’ve all had relationships where we felt we just didn’t “speak the same language” as our partners. Somehow, despite all the best intentions, our messages crossed or never seemed to land. Misunderstandings, miscommunication, and hurt feelings built up until the relationship was forced to end, not because of a lack of love, but because we and/or our partners were not feeling loved.
Understanding the five “love languages” put forward in a series of books by Dr. Gary Chapman can help you save such a relationship, if you are in one, or avoid the pain and frustration of all those mixed messages, if you’re starting a new one. Not only applicable to romantic relationships, the five love languages are also relevant to platonic relationships, whether with family, friends, or coworkers. If you can identify your own love language, as well as that of the other person, you can communicate your affection and appreciation much more effectively, leading to a happier, more fulfilling relationship for the both of you.
The five love languages, as set forth by Dr. Chapman, are as follows:
Words of Affirmation
Positive verbal reinforcement. If this is your love language, you feel wonderful when someone gives you a genuine compliment. You may feel insecure without encouragement or regular expressions of approval. You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.
Relationships are full of give and take situations, and being able to compromise is generally considered to be a good thing. But there are situations that arise where you need to stand your ground and not give in. Here’s when to compromise and when to stand firm:
Compromise
· If you always get your way. If you’re the one always winning every debate and your partner is always giving in to what you want, it’s time for you to switch roles and start being the one to compromise. Your relationship won’t last much longer if you are never willing to give in.
· If the issue is really important to them. If you’re dealing with something that you know is really important to your partner, it might be worthwhile to compromise and let them have their way.
· If it’s not a big deal. If you’re not hung up either way on the outcome, then pick your battles and let them win. Compromising on little things that don’t really matter to you is easy to do and you can save getting your way for when it’s a bigger deal to you.
